There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
