It's like a parade of train wrecks.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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