I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
