I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
