I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Yo dont text me then not text me
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
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I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
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The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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