Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
