found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
