I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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