i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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