youre lurking in front of me
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I can't turn off my feet"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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