he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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