Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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