I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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