You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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