It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
it glows. i had to have it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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