So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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