I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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