i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize