How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Banned from zoo.
Again?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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