i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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