on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
