He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
