I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
