I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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