I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
