Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
