i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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