i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well I just put wine in my tea
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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