only if we run a train.
done.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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