I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
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It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
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I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.