The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
