Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.