You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The Olympian is in my bed
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
