Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
