that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
