Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
