Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
A+ Viking dick
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
