I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
