I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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