how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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