he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
