What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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