i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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