bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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