No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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