Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
from now on my penis is your penis
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
