we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
