My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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