no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
