And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
