so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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