haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize