'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
