Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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