I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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