This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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