After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
