with your own penis?
another moral hangover. fuck.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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