I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize