they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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