have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
